For I Have Folded
by timelording
Summary: When she saw the splatters of blood hit the ceramic, her heart stopped.


It didn't take Sarah long to notice that Cosima was sick. She woke up to Cosima coughing in the bathroom more than once. She noticed how even walking up the stairs to Felix's flat began to be too much for Cosima. It worried her, but she figured she would let Cosima tell her what was wrong- Sarah wasn't one to pry.

The morning that Sarah woke up to blood on the pillow next to her was the turning point. She could hear Cosima's painful coughs in the bathroom, and her own heart pounded fearfully.

"Cos?" she called through Felix's apartment.

"Yeah?" came the raspy reply, followed by more coughs.

Sarah slipped out of bed and quickly made her way to the bathroom. "You alright?" she asked as she pushed aside the hanging beads.

Cosima was standing at the sink with her back to Sarah. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry. Just a cold." Her hands gripped the edge of the sink tightly. Sarah saw her knuckles turn white and stepped closer, reaching out a hand tentatively.

"Cosima-?"

"I said, I'm fine!" Cosima snapped, and turned around, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and blocking Sarah's view of the sink with her body.

Sarah still saw the blood.

Her eyes widened. Cosima noticed.

"Sarah, it's nothing." She tried to reassure Sarah, but her words didn't do much. Sarah's heart began to race again. "You're _sick_," Sarah said, beginning to panic.

Cosima reached out and grabbed Sarah's hands. "I'm _fine_¸ Sarah, honestly. Calm down."

"No, Cosima! You're not fine! I've seen this before, with the German! The German was sick just like this, I saw it myself, and then she _died_!" Sarah's voice began to rise, and her panic quickly began turning to anger, just like it always had. Her hands shook in Cosima's, and Cosima pulled her closer.

"Sarah, the German died because Helena shot her, not because she was sick." Cosima spoke quickly, her voice still rasping. "Please, Sarah," she pleaded as Sarah began to pull away from her, her body shaking in anger.

"Please_ what_, Cosima? You're fucking _dying_, and you didn't even tell me." Sarah's voice was hard and angry.

Cosima opened her mouth to answer, but her throat spasmed, and coughs began racking her body. Sarah watched wide eyed as she turned to the sink, and when she saw the splatters of blood hit the ceramic, her heart stopped.

"_Cos_," she whispered, and her anger dissipated in an instant. She moved behind Cosima and wrapped her arms around her waist, laying her head on Cosima's shoulder. She could feel Cosima's body shaking in her arms, and she held her tighter.

Cosima took a deep breath. Sarah heard it rattle in her chest. "I'm sorry, Sarah."

Sarah shook her head against Cosima's back. "I'm scared, Cos."

Cosima turned to face Sarah, and Sarah's hands slipped to Cosima's hips. "Hey," Cosima said softly. She brushed Sarah's hair behind her ear. "It's gonna be alright, okay?" Sarah looked away. "Listen, Delphine is trying her hardest to figure out what-" Cosima broke off as Sarah groaned loudly.

"Can we _not_ talk about Delphine right now, please?" Sarah still refused to look at Cosima.

Cosima's mouth turned up in a slight grin at Sarah's disgruntled tone, and she cocked her head, dreads falling off of her shoulder. "Are you _jealous_?"

Sarah finally looked up. "Yeah, alright, yeah. I am." she snapped. "She's all smart and science-y, and her bloody _hair_-"

"Stop, stop, Sarah, come on. We've talked about this before." Cosima put her hand on Sarah's cheek, and Sarah leaned into the touch. "You know what this is," Cosima whispered.

Sarah leaned forward and brushed her lips lightly against Cosima's. Cosima deepened the kiss, wrapping her arms around Sarah's waist firmly. The tip of her tongue brushed the edge of Sarah's bottom lip, and Sarah gasped and pulled away.

She pulled Cosima close and rested her head on her shoulder again, and Cosima took another deep, painful breath.

"I'm still scared, Cos," Sarah whispered into her neck.

"It's gonna be okay."


End file.
